


Forgive

by bluestargirl6 (pressdbtwnpages)



Category: The OC
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-08
Updated: 2005-06-08
Packaged: 2017-10-04 14:43:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pressdbtwnpages/pseuds/bluestargirl6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the <i>O.C. Sentence Fic Challenge 2</i> for <a href="http://elzed.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://elzed.livejournal.com/"><b>elzed</b></a>.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Forgive

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the _O.C. Sentence Fic Challenge 2_ for [](http://elzed.livejournal.com/profile)[**elzed**](http://elzed.livejournal.com/).

Ryan is lying fully-clothed on his bed, trying to prepare himself for his day in court and he is finding himself in possession of the heretofore unexpected skill of forgiveness.

In Chino, Ryan learned all about responsibility, about taking the blame. Things went easier on everyone if Ryan stepped up, was the stupid brother, the forgetful son, the clueless boyfriend. His beatings were always less severe than Trey's or Dawn's would have been, and Ryan would endure anything to protect Theresa, even a loveless relationship, even abandoning his new family.

Ryan thought Newport would be like Chino. Or, at least, that being responsible, taking the blame, would secure his spot a little longer. He learned to calm his fists, temper his rage, without fully taming it.

But Sandy wanted Ryan to be a kid. The Cohen's wanted to be his parents. So Ryan tried to let go, and it was more trouble than it was worth. But Ryan thinks the lesson may have taken anyway.

Because he has forgiven Marissa for shooting Trey, however misguided, dangerous and stupid that decision. She had done what she thought she had to, and Ryan wasn't going to begrudge her that. He knows he's done a lot of things in the name of "love" that she's considered stupid, granted he has a lot more common sense than Coop ever did. It hasn't been long since he loved her and she loved him, won't be long before they are tangled up into another ill-advised relationship. Despite everything, Marissa is Ryan's one true thing. He can trust her to be untrustworthy, knows that she will be consistently inconsistent. To him she is Newport personified, beautiful and fucked-up and full of the lies rich people tell themselves before they fall asleep. He isn't the man she needs, but he is her one true thing. For now they are bound by something more complicated than friendship and more painful than love. Regardless, it's hard not to appreciate someone whose instinct is to protect you at any cost.

He has forgiven Seth and Summer for coming along to witness his world explode. They are his friends, concerned friends who had every right to expect the worst and feel somewhat responsible. To be witnesses when everything went wacky. Summer is beyond loyal, a far better friend to Marissa, and to Ryan, than either of them deserve. She is strong and brave and the one who kept Marissa from shooting up the place. The one who whispered calm nothingness into the aching room in the hours before the ambulance arrived. And Seth was right there too. Holding Summer's hand and hugging Marissa and telling Ryan everything was going to be okay, Trey too, without ever slipping in an ill-timed 'bro'. Seth who gets an extra pass in Ryan's book, for coming and doing the least selfish thing he's done all year.

He has forgiven Trey, as much as he can, for falling for Marissa and trying to do something about it. Ryan won't justify it, but he can acknowledge that one of the many differences between Newport and Chino is how one goes about getting drunken sex. Chino is hard and rough and you think about your mistakes after you've made them. In Newport you think about your mistakes while you make them and kick yourself afterwards. Unless you're Marissa who just has shitty timing. Chino is tough with a soft chewy center. Newport is a sharp shard of candy that cuts your mouth and melts into sweetness. Trey never bothered to learn the new rules, and he got shot for that omission. Ryan is glad his brother lived though, at the very least because it means that Ryan isn't the sole Atwood with a known address. He is glad that he has something to hold over his over his brother for life, if they ever speak again, and a damn good excuse if they don't.

Ryan has even started to forgive himself for what went down that night at Trey's. He did what he had to do, and was probably a little out of line, but, then, his brother had tried to strangle him, so Ryan feels pretty damned justified. Trey didn't give Ryan a lot of options in the situation. Ryan's town, Ryan's friends, lots and lots of Trey fucking everything up. Trey never could keep his hands to himself, not with Ryan's toys, or bike, or drinks, or girls. This isn't the first time Trey's tried to take something of Ryan's but it sure is the last. Ryan knew this would happen, knew it, and hadn't been able to stop it. He absolves himself now lying on his bed in the pool house in a suit and tie, waiting to be summoned.

It's hot, his shirt sticks to his skin, his tie feels like it is strangling him, and Ryan wonders why every summer seems to begin with him in a suit facing certain doom. It is not a tradition he enjoys.

It is Seth who comes in this year, all head-ducking uncertainty and apology. At least their suits no longer match.

"Ryan, man… bro," Seth tries out uncertainly, "are you okay?"

Ryan waits, expecting Seth to start rambling his summer drama, or, Summer drama more likely. When nothing else comes Ryan clears his throat and says hoarsely.

"I think… I'm gonna be."

"Good, man. 'Cause I've been, we've," he gestures back towards the main house, "been worried."

"I'm fine," Ryan says, sitting up and seeing clearly that Seth wants forgiveness for neglecting Ryan, even if he hasn't been. "I know you've been busy. With your mom and everything. She's more important."

 

"You know that she's not, right?" Seth says sharply enough to surprise Ryan. "You know that you're an equal part of our family and that you matter just as much as Mom or Dad or I do, right?"

"Sure," Ryan says, the old lie slipping out easily. He's been expected to believe it since week two of his stay with the Cohen's. He's like a family pet, beloved until they have to decide whether to save the baby or the dog.

"You're a pretty good liar when it counts Ryan Atwood," Seth observes sinking into a chair.

"Shouldn't we be going?" Ryan glances at his watch.

"I'm early man. We've got time."

"Great," Ryan says without thinking and tries to remember the last time thathappened. He starts to apologize but stops when he notices that Seth is grinning ear to ear.

"An uncensored thought from Ryan Atwood. Whoever would have guessed?"

"I…"

"It's cool man," Seth insists. "Good even. You have to know by now that we're not gonna throw you out. We need you too much."

Ryan considers this and agrees with a brief nod. The Cohen's do need him; he's the man of action, the man of common sense and even more common experience. He's live in the real world, not just in a bubble insulated by money and ideals.

"You know, buddy, I think you really might be okay after all." Seth nods, and Ryan isn't sure why, but along with forgiveness he seems to have found a bit of spare faith.


End file.
